Life has become so rough lately. It’s gotten to the point where I’m not sure if I can take the stress, anxiety and anger anymore. We’ll start from the top I guess. I met a girl, it was in the beginning of August and everything was so amazing. I honestly couldn’t of been happier with life, with her, with everything. Until September came and it was a storm of bad situations and mixed feelings, saying things and then going back on them…. On her part. Leaving me in constant wonder and waiting after being so committed. Still committed but it’s all in her hands now. That’s only a small piece of the mess that the girl situation is.
Now comes work, I work 2nd shift with no absolute end time, manual labor for a Pepsi distribution facility. Been there for 2 years at the same position trying to learn and be more useful to the company, to this day I haven’t heard one good thing from my boss and when I told him I need to know if I have a future or not at the company he blew me off and has basically put a stop to all my applications for different positions in the warehouse. Feeling trapped and I don’t want to feel like the time I’ve put in was all for nothing.
The job kinda ties into family life now, due to some bad roommate situations I’ve had to move back home but that’s not the bad part. Within the time I’ve been here both of my parents have been laid off of their jobs. I’ve been supporting the household on a 12.06/hr job for the past 3 months now, I can’t let them down and I’m running out of money. They’ve had a rough past getting taken advantage of from banks and have last 2 homes so far, I can’t let them lose another. I don’t know if they could take that, the depression they have already felt and sadness they have and are going through kills me. It’s funny how there are so many people in my family that have the means to help but wont, even more crazy with how many people use this site could toss a quarter or even a dime for a cause such as breast cancer or even simple shit like helping out a family in need but don’t. I don’t know, just way to much on my mind lately and I can’t seem to give my brain a break. Been praying to a god I don’t really believe in for a miracle to happen.